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Choose Mediation First
In my humble opinion, Mediation is the best way to help a separated couple resolve their differences. Mediation is done privately, outside of a courtroom. It is less costly than litigation and it allows the participants to have some control over the outcome.
The best part is that mediation is not a “one size fits all” solution. This process allows the Mediator to help the parties create options “outside of the box” which are designed specifically to suit your family’s particular needs and circumstances.
Having said all of that, it’s not always easy for separating couples to participate in Mediation. They may be angry at one another or even hurt by what has happened. That’s where I come in. My role as the mediator is to facilitate only positive communication between the two of you in a safe environment.
Mediation is a voluntary process. That means that the participants have to agree to participate. As long as both parties are prepared to be open-minded, respectful towards one another and committed to the process, I can help them reach an agreement through mediation which meets BOTH of their needs. In this respect, mediation is a “win-win” situation, unlike the court process, which typically ends with one winner and one loser.
The Benefits of Mediation
Family Mediation offers
a healthier approach to Separation- It minimizes the impact of the separation upon the children
- Couples can save on legal fees
- The process is less stressful and much quicker than going to court
- The family's privacy is respected
- Mediation promotes family wellness and healing
- The focus is cooperation and better communication, not conflict
- It eliminates the uncertainty of going to court
My Role as the Mediator
As a mediator, I CANNOT give either party any LEGAL advice, even though I am a lawyer. You are however free to consult with your own lawyers if you require legal advice.
Remember, I do not represent either one of you.
As the Mediator, it is not my job to take sides.
However, I can guide both of you through the process by providing access to basic legal information. Also, if you get stuck on an issue, I can draw upon my experience to offer some suggestions for resolution which have worked for other families in the past.
The Role of Lawyers in Mediation
The Role of Lawyers
in the Mediation Process- Even if you and your partner choose to hire me as your mediator, there is still a role for your lawyers to play in the process.
- Each party should consult with his/her own lawyer before mediation begins, in order to understand his/her legal rights and obligations.
- Once the process of family mediation begins, typically, the parties attend without their lawyers for the joint sessions. This helps to keep the legal costs to a minimum. However, both parties are free to consult with their own lawyers at any time and as often as necessary to obtain independent legal advice throughout the mediation process.
- In other cases, the lawyers are present during each joint session of the mediation. Some people just feel more comfortable having their lawyer with them. However, this does not occur very often, as it is more costly to both parties.
- At the end of mediation, if an agreement has been reached, the Mediator prepares a report. One of the lawyers will then use that report as a basis to prepare the legal document to make your agreement legally binding. Before that agreement is signed, both parties must obtain independent legal advice. This step is mandatory, not optional.
The Role of other Professionals
Part of my approach is to also provide support to both parties, as necessary, by connecting each of you to other resources within the community.
During mediation, I encourage both parties to seek assistance from other professionals, such as counselors, accountants or financial planners. Sometimes, they can help resolve a difficult issue.
Kelly P. Edmonds
BA, LL B, AccFM (OAFM)
Family Law Lawyer and Mediator